Poetry: A(m)other Wound

I wish mountains 
could understand

What it’s like to fall down

Only to rise
without knowing how

O mother Earth
hear my silent tears
meet the dirt

and wash my face
one more time

Lower back pain is caused by three types of trauma (new video!)

Lower back pain is extremely common. And it’s debilitating.

If you (or a loved one) suffer from chronic low back pain, it’s probably due to one (or more) of these three types of trauma:

  • Sexual assault or abuse (childhood or adult)
  • A difficult relationship between your parents in childhood
  • A lack of support in your life (work, money, relationships, friendships, etc.)

If this sounds like you, you can benefit from Trauma Release Meditation, a method that releases trauma from the physical body for smoother healing. (There’s a specific TRM for back pain linked HERE).

Watch this video for more information about the types of trauma that contribute to lower back pain and what you can do about it:

Do you store trauma in your body?

Find out IF with the quiz and WHERE with the chart:

Trauma Release Meditation Basic Course

Invest 2 hours and $5 into learning the fundamentals of the Trauma Release Meditation (TRM). The lifelong benefits are priceless.

Anxiety as a symptom of trauma (Research and Resources)

If you’re anything like me, you spent much of your childhood worried, fretting, and anxious. At some point, you probably got medical help, since it wasn’t going away and was affecting your daily life.

Usually, professionals advise medication and/or therapy, telling you that your anxiety will always be part of your life. Rarely do they tell you why you’re anxious, though. The best explanation mainstream research has had for the last several generations is a mysterious imbalance of neurotransmitters, sometimes tied back to trauma, but not always.

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However, recent and specific research in neuroplasticity, trauma, and the human body is demonstrating that anxiety is not some mystical illness with no obvious cause.

Instead, anxiety is a symptom of trauma that you carry in your body.

It might be from traumatizing childhood or adult experiences.

And it also might be inherited through your DNA. In a study on mice, researchers found that the great-great-great-great-great grandchildren of mice were still scared of the smell of cherry blossoms, even after six generations.

So, research shows that we can carry ancestral trauma for (at least) six generations.

What has your family been through in the last 6 generations?

Chances are good they’ve been through poverty, hunger, disease, war, conflict, and any number of other traumatic experiences.

Given the difficulties of childhood, even under the best of circumstances, it’s likely that you also carry a great deal of trauma from this period, too.

I’ve been there. So has almost everyone else around you. In fact, so many people are diagnosed with anxiety today that it can’t just be “random.”

Trauma seems to be the obvious explanation, even before you consider some of the more recent research.

Science might one day be able to fully explain the roles of trauma in the human body, but for now, here are some links to more information about trauma stored as anxiety:

And here is a meditation designed to help you deeply process trauma stored as anxiety:

Trauma Release Meditation Basic Course

Invest 2 hours and $5 into learning the fundamentals of the Trauma Release Meditation (TRM). The lifelong benefits are priceless.

Poem: On The Day I Knew

Photo by Quang Nguyen Vinh on Pexels.com
On the day
I knew
I was mad
But still loved you

Was the day
I knew

I was me

Not my mom
Not my dad

Not my grandma or my teacher or my best friend 
or you 
or anyone else

On that day
I knew
everything would be okay

Trauma Release Meditation Advanced Course (Advanced TRM)

Learn where you store your traumas in your body and how to release them for deep, gentle processing.

($32 minimum donation)

If you want to become an affiliate and make money for selling this course, contact me. If you need a discount or scholarship, just ask.

Announcement: New course is up!

My first course is up! It’s a $5 donation for access to 2+ hours of good info on Trauma Release Meditation and how to do it.

I work on a donations-only basis because I believe in keeping healing affordable. I’ve been there, done that, and I want as many people as possible to have access to this information. This is not a limited time deal. It will be this price forever.

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Specifically, I have spent years hovering right around the poverty line as I deal with the aftermath of trauma: chronic illness, mental health issues, relationship struggles, work problems, and sooooooo much more.

As I build more courses, they will all stay as affordable as possible. Healers speak often about gathering the “courage” to raise their prices. I’m waaaaaayyyy too cowardly for that. I have the “courage” to keep my prices low.

This is why I fully understand that you–and most people like you–need this information for as low a price as possible. (If even $5 is a lot for you, hit me up about my affiliate program).

So, have at it, and share this post with someone who really needs a break. It’s a traumatic world at the moment. Let’s heal together.

Trauma Release Meditation Basic Course

Invest 2 hours and $5 into learning the fundamentals of the Trauma Release Meditation (TRM). The lifelong benefits are priceless.

Neuroplasticity: the most influential discovery of our time?

Electricity, the wheel, heliocentric thought…all paradigm-altering shifts. For us, the new earth-shattering discovery just might be neuroplasticity.

Neuroscience is the recent scientific research into how the brain is not static, but, in fact, dynamic.

For decades brain scientists believed the human brain was relatively fixed after it developed in childhood. They believed personality was fully set around age 30, and that after that you were stuck with whatever brain patterns you landed with.

New research on personality, brain health, and trauma is showing how the brain can build new neural pathways at any time of life, even after severe illness or debilitating traumatic experiences.

Indeed, the brain is surprisingly resilient, for being such a delicate organ.

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The reason neuroplasticity can be so influential, though, is not just because it blasts open decades of psychological research and practice.

More significantly, neuroplasticity means that we can literally alter our realities by altering our minds.

In the same way that knowing that lightning can be harnessed to power small devices and entire civilizations, knowing that we can harness the power of thought alters the way we view ourselves, the planet, and everything on it.

Our brains mark the doorways where our bodies interact with the outside world. Our internal world is a place where we interpret and sort out the external world so we can respond in appropriate ways.

It also influences how we interact in the world.

In other words, our brain’s state of flow directly influences how we experience the world.

Neuroplasticity, as a concept, allows us to think about our brains as in development, all the time. We can always develop in any direction. In fact, we are developing at all times, even if we are not aware of it.

Indeed, the brain is surprisingly resilient, for being such a delicate organ.

Becoming aware that your brain is constantly shifting is like discovering, suddenly, that nothing you believe or think or experience has to stay “true” for you. Now that you know, there is so much you can do with that information. You can build new neural pathways for success, love, abundance, whatever. And you can do it with a simple, fundamental shift that’s available to us all.

Naturally, some are resistant to this idea. It forces us to re-think most of what we’ve assumed for a long time.

Like heliocentric thought, we are still wrestling with the ins and outs of how to use neuroplasticity to our advantage. Although the sun’s real position was discovered multiple times by multiple people, it took a long time to catch on, mostly due to the resistance of establishment of the time. Back then, the idea that earth was not the center of the universe–let alone the solar system–was a deeply unpopular opinion. Once accepted, though, heliocentrism launched incredible scientific advancements in the exploration of space. In the same way, we are just beginning to discover the power of the unseen world hidden in the human mind.

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Even though neuroplasticity is taking time to catch on, it is rapidly becoming mainstream. Once it does, more of us will be able to benefit from the knowledge that changing your brain can, in fact, change your life.

Similarly, neuroplasticity is a scientific discovery that can spark the creation of tools and techniques, which we can then use for the benefit of those who hope to increase their brain’s flexibility in coping with life.

Specifically, researchers are looking into how neuroplasticity can assist with trauma healing. Since we now know that mental health is directly tied to brain health, how can we use what we know about neural pathways to assist trauma survivors?

Bessel van der Kolk, in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, recounts several instances of trauma survivors who get “stuck” in trauma. He also recounts some trauma survivors who committed atrocities as a reaction to their trauma.

van der Kolk’s work is controversial, partly because noting that crimes are a trauma reaction seems to condone violent and anti-social behavior. To suggest that trauma “makes” you commit crimes suggests that your subconscious activity dictates your conscious behavior.

This is problematic for several reasons, not least of which is because those examples do not take neuroplasticity into account. Beyond the blatant wrongness of harming another person, this perspective also assumes that trauma turns you into a robot, a machine, a less-than-human.

A good comparison is technological determinism, the belief that technology creates certain states or perspectives in the world. Anytime you hear someone say, “cell phones are running the world,” or “texting is ruining the youth,” or “this device will solve all disease,” that’s technological determinism.

The problem with technological determinism is that it does not account for human agency. If instead we look at technology as a tool that we may use for good or for ill (more often, something in between), we see that technology has not “caused” anything. We can choose to allow it to do so, if we wish, but the choice is ultimately in our hands.

On the other hand, van der Kolk gives several examples of traumatized people who felt an urge to commit violence against others, but then sought help instead. Those who sought help avoided committing any crimes, accepted treatment, and began to see themselves as something other than their trauma. This is the difference between saying, “my trauma defines me,” and “my trauma influences how I see the world.”

So, while trauma colors our experience, it does not determine it.

True, when we carry trauma, the resources available to us are severely limited. If you are a survivor, you know how trauma influences how you breathe, how you eat, how you sleep. Every part of your day is hindered by the struggle of keeping yourself alive. When you have trauma, your viewpoint of the world is directly influenced by what happened to you. You believe, do, and say things from that trauma perspective, because your brain is doing the necessary work of keeping you safe.

That’s why neuroplasticity is so critically important.

You get the choice as to what new neural pathways you build, since the process is constantly happening, anyway.

Recent neuroscience demonstrates that your brain is still shifting every moment, creating new neural pathways, growing and adapting and overcoming. We all do this. We do it to survive. And, no matter whether your life has been easy or hard, your brain is still building new neural pathways every moment.

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In the words of Harry Granison Hill, “the world within modifies the world without. Anyone who desires to change his environment and outer conditions may do so by changing his inner attitude.”

And, since we now know about neuroplasticity, we know that even our brains can be re-wired. Trauma can be released, and our brains can heal, perhaps in part or completely.

To realize that our brains are under the influence of our own intentions is to realize that our own lives are in our own hands—or rather, in our own brains.

Just like the invention of the wheel, the discovery of electricity, and the shift to heliocentric thinking changed the very fabric of the reality we now operate from, neuroplasticity can be a tool that launches us into an entirely new era.

What would your life look like if you knew you had significant influence over the inner functioning of your brain, and by extension, the inner workings of your body, too?

The study of neuroscience has given rise to a vast pharmacopeia of ways to influence the neural pathways of the body and mind. Meditation, somatic experiencing, EMDR, Brainspotting, herbal medicine, and all kinds of other neurological techniques have provided healing support for those who want to give their neuroplasticity a boost.

Personally, I use a technique called “Trauma Release Meditation” (or TRM). I’ve noticed across-the-board benefits in my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health after using this technique regularly for several months.

That said, I also notice changes immediately, especially in my mood. Over time these have become more and more permanent as my neural pathways create new patterns. In many cases, my new state of being is better than I remember it being, even before I developed chronic illness and mental health problems after lifelong CPTSD and some one-off events that caused PTSD.

I teach TRM on my sites to help others harness their own neuroplasticity and receive some of the powerful benefits of releasing subconscious blockages. If you store trauma as chronic illness (like I do) you might be particularly benefited. (I also provide one-on-one virtual sessions).

So, let me know what you think. Is neuroplasticity a flash in the pan? Or is it here to alter reality as we know it?

Blessings to you on your trauma healing journey ❤

Trauma Release Meditation Basic Course

Invest 2 hours and $5 into learning the fundamentals of the Trauma Release Meditation (TRM). The lifelong benefits are priceless.

Trauma Release Meditation Basic Course

Invest 2 hours and $5 into learning the fundamentals of the Trauma Release Meditation (TRM). The lifelong benefits are priceless.

Back pain, trauma, and emotional support

Chronic back pain = stored trauma

If your back hurts, you are storing trauma.

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

Since the subconscious is located in the body, your back is trying to tell you something whenever it hurts.

Maybe it’s recalling a past abuse or neglect.

It could also be calling out a particular way that you haven’t been supported.

When your back hurts (or hurts more than normal), ask yourself how you haven’t been feeling supported lately. Make a note of whatever traumas might be coming up to be healed. Pay attention to your triggers lately, and see how they’re connected.

Then, do this meditation:

And of course, you can always sign up for a one-on-one session with me! Blessings on your trauma healing journey ❤

Digestion, trauma, and the inner child

Trigger warning: brief mention of sexual assault

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If you have tummy troubles, it is likely that you also have…

  • childhood trauma
  • money woes
  • blocks in the creative “spark”
  • fatigue
  • anxiety and/or depression
  • chronic pain and/or inflammation
  • unwanted weight loss or gain
  • bloating and gas
  • indigestion
  • upset or painful stomach

If this sounds like you, your digestive upset is caused by childhood trauma, stored in your gut. Gut health is severely limited by childhood trauma, which prevents your digestive fire from working properly.

The “tummy troubles” I’m referring to might include (but are not limited to)…

  • IBS
  • IBD
  • GERD
  • SIBO
  • candida overgrowth
  • leaky gut
  • gastropareisis
  • Crohn’s
  • and sooooo many others — any chronic digestive issues are born of childhood trauma stored in the lower belly and stomach regions

The gut is a particularly icky place to carry trauma, although most of us store at least some here. Trauma from the ages of 7-10 usually show up here, along with our issues of self-esteem, the inner child, and our ability to give and receive love.

If these areas are blocked, we also tend to suffer from social anxiety, money traumas, setting boundaries, and getting our needs met (along with a host of other problems).

As an IBS and candida girl myself, I’ve spent a loooootttt of time working through traumas stored in my gut. The gut is the second brain, after all. So much of our mood and emotional regulation is tied to how well we digest. It’s like we’re literally “digesting” our emotions (or not, as the case may be).

Although I use a variety of lifestyle choices–such as diet, exercise, supplements, essential oils, and the like–to manage my symptoms, the single biggest thing I have done for my digestion is to physically release the trauma stored in my gut. Letting go of the trauma in that area has helped these other methods work better, since the trauma is no longer re-routing the healing process.

Before I started releasing my trapped traumas through meditation, none of these things really made a dent in it. They helped, sure, but only like a Band-Aid would help a bullet wound. The problem was still there, and still VERY obvious.

My digestive issues started after a round of Accutane…and got worse after I experienced a sexual assault in an alleyway behind my home. These two events, occurring a few months apart, left me extremely…well, “ahem,” blocked. I grew mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually constipated.

Trauma, of course, damages the nervous system. Not only was I now emotionally scarred, I was physically spent. My digestive flow was essentially non-existent. I couldn’t eat, I could barely sleep. It got pretty bad.

Since then, I have tried almost every supplement, diet, oil, exercise, pill, schedule, trick, tip, hack…you name it…in the book. All of them help, a little. But none of them help like using meditation to release the early childhood traumas that were the real source of the problem. The adult traumas were more like the icing on the cake, as it turned out. They mattered, of course. They still do. But my older patterns were the root issue of my gut health.

These days, if I regularly meditate into my gut and release whatever traumas are stored there, along with watching what I eat and keeping up with my herbs and essential oils, I do pretty well. Really well, considering. That’s what I want for you, too.

Here’s a meditation I created to help you find and release whatever you might be storing in your gut. It will help you release the trauma that leads to IBS, Crohn’s, GERD, SIBO, IBD, leaky gut, candida overgrowth, and so many other digestive issues. Your intuition may tell you where the original trauma came from — I’d love to hear from you and see if your experience in any way matches mine!

And, as always, you can sign up for an individual session if the guided session isn’t cutting it. Blessings to you on your trauma healing journey ❤

The Myth of Insomnia (The Post-Modern Sleep Scam)

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We’ve been scammed.

According to leading scientific research on sleep, “insomnia” is the a state of waking frequently during the night.

And yet, a high percentage of us suffer from it.

Even if you are not diagnosed with a sleeping disorder, you can probably relate to feeling draggy, tired, and overwhelmed from time to time. Maybe you feel this way every day.

If insomnia were a useful measure of the human experience, it would be an infrequent thing, mostly experienced by those who were sick or traumatized or otherwise “abnormal” in some way, right?

It couldn’t be all of us.

If you take a quick count of your family members, friends, and neighbors, chances are good that many (if not most) of the people you know also suffer from waking during the night, fatigue, exhaustion, burnout, and so many other sleep “disorders,” labeled as such by contemporary definitions. Most Western humans today–if not all–rely on stimulants, sleeping pills, and other hacks just to get the prescribed eight hours, then force themselves awake again in the morning.

Since it’s so many of us, there must be something wrong with the system, not us.

If you wake often during the night, wake up exhausted, need medications or supplements just to sleep at all, or drag yourself through the day, it’s not you. It’s your body trying to communicate with you.

Human beings have stopped listening to our bodies. As a result, we often find ourselves merely surviving–sometimes even barely coping. 

You are not the problem. The problem is the way we’ve programed ourselves to understand sleep.

It has to do with the way human beings naturally sleep. If left without the restraints of work schedules, blue light, alarm clocks, and other postmodern traps, humans sleep for a few hours in the evening, wake up for a short time, then go back to sleep for the rest of the night.

This phenomenon is known as “biphasic sleep.” It simply means that the human body prefers two sleep cycles per night, with a break in between. 

Biphasic sleep used to be common knowledge. Court cases, literature, art, and other historical documents casually mention “first sleep,” assuming that everyone knows that “second sleep” naturally follows.

In other words, humans used to take for granted that we naturally sleep in two phases, with a break in the middle. Ancient and medieval peoples took the two-sleep model as a matter of course, and some societies still follow this pattern. Nobody used to down melatonin or gulp Starbucks. Nobody used to lie awake and fret about their lack of sleep, in awful dread of the coming alarm clock.

The Western world got rid of biphasic sleep during the Industrial Revolution. At that time, Western cultures began emphasizing the eight-hour uninterrupted sleep cycle to better suit factory shifts.

In order to be more productive members of society, we began suppressing our natural sleep rhythms to keep up with the rapidly increasing pace of modern life. Postmodernity has continued this frenetic pattern, even though the factory model is largely dying out as a working system.

It’s starting to take its toll.

We use and abuse our bodies based on false information that goes against both ancient wisdom and modern science.

Pre-modern humans followed their natural body rhythms and the cycles of the earth.

Post-modern humans wake to the blaring of an alarm clock and an urgent need for coffee.

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Today, common knowledge dictates that if you wake during the night, you suffer from insomnia. You might Google it or visit your doctor to be told that you have a sleep disorder and require medication to alter your brain state in order to get back to the so-called “normal” pattern of sleeping eight hours per night. Many of us use medication, meditation, supplements, and other life “hacks” to try and get those eight uninterrupted hours of sleep.

Many of us also spend a great deal of time and energy berating ourselves for not being able to sleep for those eight hours, even though scientific research explicitly states that eight uninterrupted hours of sleep is simply not natural to us.

And yet, so many of us feel desperate to do so, all thanks to long out-dated factory standards. 

If you wake often during the night, take something to sleep better, or worry about getting enough sleep, you are one of the victims of this systemic misunderstanding. Sleep deprivation, meanwhile, is stressing you out even more, repeating the cycle.

The truth is that we traumatize (and re-traumatize) our bodies on an almost-daily basis. Whether you are aware of it or not, you have experienced chronic trauma throughout your life, and one of these ways is by telling your body, over and over, “I can’t sleep.” Lying awake, miserable and afraid of being late to work, is not healthy.

Your body is storing that information as stress. You were told that you should, so you do.

If no one has ever told you that it’s okay to be awake in the night, or to sleep whenever feels good to you, or that you are not “broken” because you do not sleep eight hours at a time, I am telling you now.

You are not broken. Your body is trying to tell you the truth.

Most of my clients ask me how to get better sleep, and one of the biggest tools I give them is a trauma-release program to re-train their body to believe that its okay to be awake (or asleep) whenever feels right.

You are not broken.

Your body is trying to tell you the truth.

Meditation is a powerful tool to re-program the body for less stress and therefore better sleep. Trauma Release Meditation (TRM) is a simple, straightforward technique that helps you listen–and talk to–your subconscious mind for deep healing.

I developed TRM as a way to deal with my own debilitating insomnia, which just wasn’t going away, no matter what I tried. Learning about biphasic sleep was just one of the many “ah ha!” moments that taught me I wasn’t broken. I wasn’t the problem–it was the way I had been taught to understand my body’s needs.

We all do this, of course. We’ve been scammed, after all. It’s no one individual’s fault, but it’s every individual’s responsibility to learn about their body’s individual needs and meet them in more authentic, supportive ways. Meditation is just one of the many tools that have led me back to a life of (relative) health–and much better sleep.

Further, TRM helped me delve into some of the original traumas causing my insomnia in the first place, which went back much farther than the “big” traumas in my life. I’d been trained, slowly, to ignore and belittle my body’s biological needs. These patterns settled into my cells as trauma, so re-wiring was necessary to be able to sleep again.

Check out my free TRM insomnia session on YouTube, and don’t forget to subscribe for future meditations! Or, to schedule your personalized, one-on-one TRM session tailored to your individual needs, click the button below:

New Year, New YouTube…

I am SO THRILLED about my new direction for the new year! 2022 is a year of harmony and wealth, and I am feeling it. Let’s make it a great year to Ascend together ❤

New ventures coming on YouTube, you will want to subscribe for this!

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